10) Trying too hard to sound clever
I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto. – Fifty shades of Grey, E L James
The elevator whisks me with terminal velocity to the twentieth floor. – Fifty shades of Grey, E L James
My inner goddess is doing a triple axel dismount off the uneven bars, and abruptly my mouth is dry – Fifty shades of Grey, E L James.
The trawler plunged into the angry swells of the dark, furious sea like an awkward animal trying desperately to break out of an impenetrable swamp. The waves rose to goliathan heights, crashing into the hull with the power of raw tonnage; the white sprays caught in the night sky cascaded downward over the deck under the force of the night wind. – The Bourne Identity, Robert Ludlum.
Wait? That is actually a line in the book? From now on I think that’s how I’m going to complimate every red thing ever.
And I can’t read Dan Brown – I never understood why, but you might have just illuminated me.
I am wearing a Communist Manifesto coloe shirt! See I did it already.
Haha, I loved this! Fifty Shades of Grey is just so perfect because it can be used as an example to all the bad writing tactics, plots and characters out there. Can’t wait for the second part of this!
There is a second part to this post already. You can check it 🙂
I agree with sticking to standard English. Slangs are just annoying, especially if they are used profusely.
There are books I love, with long yet beautiful descriptions but not every author can pull that off.
Hey BTW, I am a long time stalker of your blog 🙂 Love your discussion posts.
These are hilarious.
With slang, as a teacher of 12-14 year olds, there are some authors who can really pull it off (Matt de la Pena) and others who just make me cringe. If you can't talk the talk, just write standard English and don't embarrass yourself.
I like beautiful writing, but not when it's just overwhelming description, like you pointed out—or if it just sounds plain ridiculous! And I'm also not a fan of crass.
Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction
That should be an interesting game. I will keep a look out for the crimson note. Thanks for the tidbit. Stick around 🙂
The narrator of Fifty Shades of Grey is plain annoying. We could probably create an exercise routine for every time she talked about her "inner goddess" (10 push ups for each mention).
For number 10, I have actually read a complaint about using "crimson" when it comes to translation in Dutch (I think it was Dutch). In that language, "crimson" isn't used in everyday speech or writing because everyone just says "red." I wish could remember which blogger pointed this out, but it was an interesting post when I read it. I love this post.