You know what I miss the most these days? Long meaningful conversations. Thanks to Whatsapp, FB and every other social connect there is no dearth for ‘hey whats up?, ‘what did you cook?’, ‘Ain’t it too hot these days?’ and my abhorrence to talking over telephone nowadays, I cannot try and remember having a thoughtful conversation. Ahem.. Ahem.. add to it that I don’t write at all. So where does that leave me? Yearning to have an interrupted conversation devoid of frivolous talks about weather, events or persons.
A few years ago, I used to write these long e-mails to a pen pal, S. I can’t recollect how it started but there we were, exchanging mails for about 2 years. We had never exchanged numbers, or even a precise location ( I think). Neither did I even try to connect through any of the social networks, though Google and FB have shown him under people you might know in the social media platforms, REPEATEDLY, off late and hence the post.
This is how it went on for years. About once a week, without a fixed time line or anything, that is whenever either of us had time and a whim to write, we jotted down what was going on in each other’s mind, without having the need to actually explain anything more than necessary. Once in a while when we did miss to reply, but there was no once that we waited for the other to respond first.
Generally I used to fill my long letters talking about the dog we had then to the book that I was engrossed in during the week, just typical of me. He wrote me about his job, family, his other pen pals and his Tabla lessons and such. There were times that all I used to write was what I would write about the following week. I shared with him notes that I used to call ‘poetry’, stuff I scribbled during my school and college days. To be honest, there were no flirty messages or attempt to each other. I distinctly remember his interest on being a self employed, which he took a chance at but went back to being a regular techie with varied interest in life. His passion towards life and trying out new things would ooze out of his writing. And that is what I tried to imitate in my letters to him.
In fact, he was a probable inspiration for me to start this blog. Yeah, he was the first person outside of my immediate circle of friends that I shared something that I have created, be it sketches or the poetry or even my thoughts about random topics. What if he had not been receptive or even worse, was discouraging about them? May be I might have had not this space now where I rant about anything and everything under the sun, most of the time is of no use to the reader.
Now I am looking at those letters / mails, feeling not just nostalgic but also wondering what happened to that guy. The last mail I received from him ended in a sad note about the unexpected misfortunes that fell upon him. Something the 22 year old me couldn’t even begin to comprehend, let alone offer support or even grieve with him and yet I made an earnest attempt at it. Haven’t heard from him after that, until these internet Gods started prompting me that I should be connecting with him. (I am not going to, FYIP)
Coming to think of it I don’t think I would have spoken about him to any of my friends either, not to hide him away but more because his presence didn’t seem to make a huge impact then, but now I am filled with gratitude towards him. Hope that he made safe and happy out of his ill fate and have moved on in life. So why am I writing such a long post about something that happened eons ago? Despite having so many people that I talk, I miss writing letters. In fact the only letters I have ever written were to a faceless guy years ago. I don’t mind the quicker and shorter communication but I want to get back to writing long paragraphs about everything under the sun from why we named our dog Caeser to how to get back to writing blog posts. Is there an interested pen pal around? Let me know.
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That is so considerate of you. Hope your friend is better now and found your letter soothing and motivating. But I do get the awkward part of putting pen to paper after a long long time 😛
I wrote an actual paper letter to a friend of mine a few weeks ago. It felt very awkward,but she's going through a tough time and a written letter seemed more real to me than an email or text. I totally get what you are saying here. Great post.
Those were the times, werent they?
Unless you include e letters I have not either.
I agree. Social Media has completely replaced human touch.
I remember having pen pals back in middle school and high school. I had a half dozen or so at one point, but with snail mail because this was at the beginning of the internet really being there for public use, so most of my pen pals didn't have home internet access yet. Man, this post has made me nostalgic for my pen pal days too. – Katie
I haven't written an actual letter to a friend in years…
Sometimes going back to traditional forms of communication leaves its mark far more deeply than the instant gratification forms. Thank you for sharing.